5 Questions Every Mentor Should Ask You
What questions should I have my mentor ask me?
More important than the questions you ask your mentor are the ones that you give permission to be asked. Once you have identified a potential mentor it is wise to provide your mentor a list of questions that he or she has the ability to ask you at any time. A good mentoring relationship has the freedom to address any of these questions and receive an honest answer in response.
Hard questions are necessary. Honesty builds trust and trust breeds humility and change. The best questions a mentor can ask you are the ones that you avoid asking yourself. We are talented avoiders, you and I. We have built pathways that circumvent our own sinful realities. We have honed our skills of denying self-truth. A good spiritual mentor should ask questions that lead us to confession and repentance of sin but that are rooted in love and grace.
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Here are 5 questions every mentor should be able to ask you and expect an honest answer in return:
- Do you have any unconfessed sin that is keeping you from your goal?
- What went right since the last time we met? What went wrong?
- Who or what is responsible for what went right or wrong?
- How do you build on the good or correct the bad?
- What is stopping you from taking the next step?
These questions, or some form of them, should be addressed to you regularly. They are measuring posts that remind you where you are going, where you have been, and what direction you need to take next. Fight the urge to let these questions become routine. Always answer honestly and completely.
Don't Lie. It is a waste of time.
Of course, you have the choice to boldly lie to your mentor. Your reasons are various for sure: insecurity, doubt, avoidance, etc. But perhaps you should consider the loss of a valuable asset: time. Knowingly lying to your mentor wastes your time. If the goal is to grow spiritually, then your are treading the opposite direction by lying. It may not be comfortable telling the truth, but at least you are not wasting precious minutes you can never get back.
Don't take your time for granted. Intentional mentoring relationships don't last forever.