I betray Jesus on the daily. I scold those who see as inferior, I look at women with lust, and I act as god of my life. I have come out as one who follows Jesus and yet I betray Him with a kiss everyday. I have not live a life of obedience that we have discussed and written about time after time. I have let Kristal down by not properly modeling the Christian walk and then we have conversations about why she doesn't believe: I feel like I should take first responsibility for this (if not first then maybe third or fourth). I have betrayed Jesus.
I don't talk to Him enough and I don't ask Him what He wants often enough. Sometimes I doubt if I am suppose to be apart of Empty Church and whether I bring anything to the table. Often, I know these feelings are my equivalent of a Monday for a Pastor but still, is this where I am suppose to be? How can I be sure if I am constantly busy betraying Jesus? This sheep has trouble knowing the Shepherd’s voice.
If it sounds like I have a guilty conscience- I do- I know that i should make my peace with many things or allow God to give me healing, but I suppose that one of the hardest things to heal from is ourselves.
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What About The Betrayer?
Judas is perhaps the most hated disciple because he is the one who betrayed Jesus. He sold Jesus out for money to try to benefit himself. How would you like to be remembered for helping kill God in human form? (I suppose Friedrich Nietzsche and other atheists might want this honour) It is scary to think that I could be compared to Judas in that if I have kept someone from knowing Jesus I have killed them spiritually. I have betrayed Jesus. It’s probably not the proper way to read the Bible but Jesus says in Matthew 26:24 that is would be better for the one who betrayed Jesus to never have been born and I have betrayed Jesus! Is it better for me to never have been born?
In the end, I think that there is redemption for the betrayer if they ask for forgiveness. I cannot comment on Judas’ fate, but I can say that we all have a chance to opt-in and follow Jesus even after we have betrayed Him.