How Did You Make Lasting Friendships?

How Did You Make Lasting Friendships?

I feel like I have always been waiting to get in the place in my life where lasting friendships are possible. In each phase of life, there seem to be temporary friends but not ones who are around for the long haul.

High School:

Is a joke. Friendships come and go like a summer breeze. If you made it through high school still friends, then many moved in different directions for college and lost touch.

College:

It quickly came apparent that 1) college friendships weren't much different from high school, especially in the earlier years, and 2) we’d never see each other after we got out. Most people were from different states and would go home afterward or would settle elsewhere for jobs.

Marriage:

I’m not married but between High school and college, most people don't make it out unhitched. Many have kids as well. These types have lasting friendships within the “married or have kids” category.

Work:

Okay, job after college, now we can start making lasting friendships? Nah. People are always looking for a better job. People you are just getting to know leave and now you have to start all over with different people.

Is It Just Me?

The problem with all this is that I see other people being friends for as long as I've known them. How do they have lasting friendships? Why don't I? I guess I was at a disadvantage when I moved after Middle School, but there are people who moved a whole lot more than I did and still had friends.

Is there something wrong with me that I'm not good to be friends with? I know I've messed up frequently, but why are some people deserving of forgiveness in friendship and others are burned?

Or is there something wrong with me? Am I not worthy of the time that is required for a lasting friendship? Have I been deemed worthless? 

Am I just destined to only have temporary acquaintances?

Maybe, I’m just not supposed to have friends.

Spiritual Assessment:

The biggest problem is that I have a problem with this. I think that this indicates an insecurity within my own identity in Christ. Perhaps I will only have friends once I have finally truly become friends with Jesus and know who I am outside of the definition that others wish to put on me.

Secondly, God is the one who sticks closer than a brother, so why have I ignored him all these years? Sure I've acknowledged Him sporadically, but why do I have to write a blog about not having long term friends and not one about the faithfulness of God throughout my struggles? How could I write a blog about long lasting friendships and totally ignore God's role in my life throughout it all? It hurts to look back and have lost so many friends, but what hurts the most is to have forgotten how much of a friend that God is and has been throughout life.

 

How Did You Make Lasting Friendships?

 

Sorry:

Sometimes I write things that piss Josh or Kristal off. I think that this will be one of them. I consider both of them friends. Kristal is the friend that has been around the longest in my life out of everyone that I know (besides family). I'm sorry that I am paranoid that after 10 years we will lose touch one last time and never talk again. I'm sorry that I see the possibility of the Schaidts, Kristal, and I heading in different directions in life because of jobs. I'm sorry my words and actions often say that your friendships are not important enough to me.

Thank you for being my friends.

About the Author | Sean Kready TwitterFacebookInstagramSnapchat
An imperfect Christian, who sins on the daily, but tries to share his journey so that we all might know God better. This is our offering. An act of worship.

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