I am a Bible Skeptic
In the beginning of my journey here at Empty Church I wrote a blog about blindly believing. This week we discussed if Christians should believe everything in the Bible or should they be a little doubtful or skeptical about some things? I think we all agreed that there is a healthy combination of belief and skepticism that goes along with believing in God and the Bible if one is a Christian.
For me, my skepticism far outweighs my belief. Most of my life I didn’t care to know about God or learn about God. I was invited to church twice in my whole life and other than a handful of times that I prayed to God when I was a child, God rarely ever crossed my mind. It wasn’t something that I thought about pursuing. Honestly, I had friends that were Christians and I knew of many other people that were Christians, but they hardly inspired me to want to know what it was all about.
Even though I have been attending church for several years now, I feel like I am more skeptical than ever. I cannot deny that Josh, Sarah, and Sean truly do believe in God, as well as my pastor and many people that attend my church. I am thankful to have all of these people in my life showing me their views and challenging me to think but I just can’t believe in God. Here are a few of those reasons.
I Can’t Blindly Believe in God
God typically doesn’t reveal himself to people. So people are just supposed to believe in him because others say so and because the Bible says so. That doesn’t make sense. I am expected to believe in God and trust God when he hasn’t given me a reason to believe and trust in him. And no, don’t tell me that Jesus dying for my sins is reason enough because that happened thousands of years ago and not here and now. God hasn’t done anything here and now for me to believe that he exists. Telling me to "just believe" or "just accept Jesus" doesn't work, as I've mentioned over and over again. Believing in God is the one thing that everyone wants you to believe in without proof. However, when it comes to science, everyone demands proof. We don't have reason and logic to just believe everything we are told.
The Bible Doesn’t Prove to Me That God Exists
During our podcast we explored the question of whether or not a Christian should believe every word of the Bible. I don’t think I shared my views on the matter because I really had never thought about it and what I think about it. Now that I’ve had some time to think about it I honestly have no idea if they should or shouldn’t. The Bible was written and inspired by God so why shouldn’t they believe every word? However, there are parts of the Bible that are supposed to be taken literally, figuratively, metaphorically, etc etc. How can we know if the Bible is true if there are many different ways to read it, interpret it, and understand it? There are different denominations of Christians because they interpret the Bible differently. People pick their churches because they believe in what that specific church believes and how they interpret the Bible.
The Church is Sometimes More Wicked Than The Secular World
Sometimes I believe that my morals and how I act is better than some people who call themselves Christians. There are good people in the secular world and there are also good christians. There are bad people in the secular world and there are also bad christians. Sometimes, from my perspective, I see the Church as a place for gossip, power, destruction, judgement, and just an unpleasant thing to be a part of. I can have a better experience working in a hectic restaurant environment with 20 other adult women and men that all gossip about each other than at church sometimes.
As children of God, who are supposed to be full of love, compassion, grace, forgiveness, and other disgustingly inaccurate adjectives, they are not helping me believe in the God of the Bible.
Skepticism Has Become My Identity
There are many small necessary details that I want to know but are not answered in the Bible and a Christians way of dealing with it is that it must not matter or they don't care about those details. Twice now in the last month alone I have witnessed two influential people say "I don't care about *insert religious topic here* because it doesn't matter." Well if it's written in the Bible shouldn't it matter? They want to nit pick and discuss other details about the Bible but when it comes to something that might deflate their sense of truth it suddenly doesn't matter?
There is hardly anything about what is written in the Bible that I believe to be true. I believe there could have been a man named Jesus that claimed to be the son of God, I believe that something had to of created everything but whether or not that was God because the Bible says so is up for debate. All the people in the Bible could have been real people. Were miracles performed, do angels exist, is there a heaven and a hell, was the earth flooded and destroyed? I don't know.
What I do know is that I am probably too far down the Bible skepticism hole that if God smacked me in the face I'd probably deny it was him. Sean tells me that I am not a true skeptic (He's skeptical of my skepticism) because I haven't diligently studied the Bible from one end to the other to truly know whether or not there is truth in the Bible. Honestly, who has time for that when it takes forever to study one verse of the Bible?
I have read the Bible, I've attended church, I've prayed, I've attended some classes meant for ordination, I've participated in Christian activities more than a lot of Christians themselves probably have. I have acted the Christian act. I haven't found any truth yet. Only more doubt.