Jesus Is Not Enough for Me…Yet
This week I am at a total loss as to what to talk about for my blog seeing as how Josh and Sean went off on a tangent and I simply offered a chuckle here and there in the podcast as I so often do. I’ve literally waited until the last minute to write my blog because I have wracked my brain for the last week as to what to write about and nothing has come to mind. Honestly, I’m tired of writing about God and Jesus and stuff I don’t believe in. It’s exhausting. I go to church and I have been churched so I know things to write about for our weekly topics but it’s not what I’m interested in and it’s a challenge every week to write about a subject that I know little about.
Josh, Sean, and Sarah's theology is so advanced compared to mine that it feels pointless to participate. It’s a full time job to learn about Jesus and read the bible and be involved in church things. I feel like I have to catch up on 26 years of knowledge about Jesus and the bible that everyone else already has. As the resident non-believer of the group, obviously it is going to be challenging to be a part of a church with other members that are very secure in their beliefs but as someone that has been brainwashed by society to believe that science and religion cannot work together, it feels as if I must let go of everything I currently believe in order to even begin believing in God. I don't know if I will ever get the answers I am looking for or if I will ever be satisfied with not knowing.
If it seems like I am giving up on Jesus, I'm not. I'm just frustrated that I don't seem any closer to an understanding or a belief in God. Why is it easy for some people who have never heard of Jesus to listen to some preacher/missionary preach about Jesus one time and then they suddenly believe in something they just heard about for the first time in their life? It doesn't make sense. Do they have such little hope in life that some story about Jesus makes them want to suddenly be saved and worship a God they know nothing about? Does this go along with how they have so little that Jesus is enough for them and they just accept it? They don't know any better?
Do I have so much that Jesus isn't enough for me? Is Jesus enough for anyone? If Jesus is enough, why do we constantly crave more things, more possessions, more everything? Can we survive in this messed up world on Jesus alone? It seems unlikely to me that Jesus is enough.