Might As Well Face It, I'm Addicted To Love.
I have a confession: I am one of those women who loves a good romantic comedy, who will tear up at the inevitable happy ending of a Hallmark movie, and who sings along with the sappiest of love songs on the radio. I am an addict, but a recovering one. I've recognized my problem and I'm working on it.
There is nothing wrong with love or being in love or loving others. The problem stems from Hollywood's unrealistic definition of love which can quickly cause damage to relationships in your life if you let it. I filled my head with these movies, tv shows, and love songs expecting my own relationships to live up to the examples I grew up with. I wanted someone to love me the way Cory loved Topanga. I wanted a whirlwind romance like Sleepless in Seatle. I wanted a big, happy family like on Full House (minus the whole widow/widower thing). I set myself, and my husband, up for inevitable disappointment because our marriage was not written by Hollywood directors. I was not the perfect wife and I established standards that he could never reach.
Love is a commitment.
In Brett's chapter on "Uncomfortable Love" he states that love isn't a feeling, it's a commitment. In today's culture, the commitment is made in response to the love you feel for the other person, but in reality, your love will truly develop and grow out of this commitment. Speaking from personal experience, when our relationship hit the rocks, we clung to the commitment we made to each other like a life raft. Out of that commitment, a deeper love — deeper than I have ever seen in any movie or heard in any song — developed.
Love is still uncomfortable.
Love in and of itself is uncomfortable. You make yourself vulnerable to another person knowing that you could be hurt. Loving others like God loves is even more uncomfortable. Brett provides examples of those God has called us to love: the refugee that may pose a risk entering our country, our neighbors who may be a different race or are part of the LGBTQ community and suffer persecution, and even those who persecute us. Loving people, truly loving people, is extremely uncomfortable.
There's a verse at the end of a worship song that comes to mind when I think about God's love:
No matter how uncomfortable love can be, it is a commitment we must make to each other out of our commitment to the One who has demonstrated the true meaning of love.