💔 The Brokenhearted
What breaks your heart? Why Does your heart break? Does your heart break for the right reasons?
There are many things that break our hearts in life and it usually boils down to loss of some kind. We lose loved ones, we lose in bad breakups, we lose jobs, we lose in sports, we lose our keys, we lose our phone, we lose trust, and we lose dignity; we are just losers. Some losses we never quite recover from. Sometimes it feels like our hearts will never heal and often it’s the ones closest to us who break us the most.
I am Sean and I have a broken heart.
But is my heart broken for the right reasons? As I have given this some thought, I have come to believe even if my heart isn't broken for the wrong reasons, it might not be broken for the right reasons. What do I mean? I mean many of the things I feel pain and broken over are partly or fully my fault (depending how much I am in denial). What?! As much as I like the play the victim and believe everyone is out to get me since some how my worthlessness is meaninglessly important to attack, much of my loss is due to my own mistakes. That is not to say that people cannot grieve, please do as it is very healthy, but much of my loss does not fit into that category. Psalm 147:3 says “He [God] heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” That certainly applies to people who are brokenhearted for valid reasons and I believe God extends it even to people who are broken for the wrong reasons, all because He loves us. As I think about the things that still haunt me or bring me pain I can trace most of it back to one thing: my own sin. Sure I can look at it as what people have done to me, but I am as much to blame as they are, if not more. I, ultimately, have broken my own heart.
If I have broken my own heart, I am pretty sure I have broken God’s heart as well and I am disgusting for it.
God, who am I that You are mindful of me, and why do You care for me? I have gone against You so many times and You still love me. Forgive me for what I have done and forgive me for what I will do. I have failed you and I know it won’t be for the last time.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
This isn't me asking God to break me because I have hurt Him, though I surely deserve it. It is expressing the want and need to be aligned with His will and see the world as He does.
On my old laptop I photoshopped the phrase “break my heart for what breaks Yours” on the default wallpaper as a reminder to keep my heart in check (I did this because of a song or a pastoral challenge in a sermon, I’m not sure which) and, one day when I had to use it instead of my new computer, I was made fun of by some of my friends at the christian college I was attending. It might have been lighthearted (I can’t be sure) but it came to me as an affront to trying to follow Jesus. Their reaction made me feel first of all silly for having it there and secondly as if their judgment said “Sean doesn't care about what God thinks.” That hurts. That breaks me.
The phrase now is pretty cliche and after a quick internet search I decided that it is not even in the Bible. It comes from the bridge of the song “Hosanna” by Brooke Fraser with Hillsong United. That isn't to say that it’s not biblical. I think the “heart” of the statement is to start seeing needs that God wants us to meet. Without a heart broken for God, Christians don't see a need or the will to spread the gospel. That is truly something that breaks the heart of God. In Matthew 25:34-46 and Luke 10:25-37, Jesus makes it clear that helping people in various states of need is at the heart of the Christian life. How can we follow Jesus if our hearts don't ache for those who do not know Him and those who are in need who we don't help?
God, help me be in tune with what your heart wants. Take away my own wants and replace them with yours. Give me a heart for the people your heart reaches out to. Make my heart ache for those who don't know you. Break my heart for what breaks yours.